So, right now, I’m sitting in a room, surrounded by boxes and packaging tape and hangers and plastic bags and…yeech. It’s moving time and it sucks. The most obnoxious thing is that damn painting, haha. I love it, partially because of the sentimental value it holds for me, but it doesn’t fit any box, it’s oversized and it’s just a pain to move/ship. I’ve fashioned something that resembles a box for it, but I’m worried that UPS will reject it when they see it cause it looks like a hot fucking mess — no joke. It would be funny if it weren’t so tragic.

But anyway. I don’t have much to report — things are proceeding relatively smoothly, I think. I have seven days left in the city, and mostly I just want to finish packing and I’d ideally like to see everyone at least one more time before I go, but obviously there’s time constraints and I have a lot of administrative stuff to deal with, so I’ll do the best I can. Plus I’m still working as of right now. Nate’s in town this weekend, so I really hope we get to see him at some point, but we’ll see. It sucks that I was sort of sick last weekend and had to cancel on people, so I’m a little worried since I’m actually running out of time. Eeek.

I thought I would feel lonely and depressed the month before law school starts since I thought it would be a lot of nothing, but I’m actually getting really excited. Ali is living in Chicago now, my parents will be flying in when I first move and then Kendra will be visiting, then my sister, and then Dan and maybe Rita at some point that month — plus I realize that I actually know quite a few random people in Chicago already. So, yeah, I’m looking forward to it.

I’ve given up reading stuff I actually like in order to spend time getting through The Bramble Bush and Getting to Maybe (which I’m also outlining) in order to prepare for school. It’s probably overkill, but considering how much the sticker price is for law school (without scholarship money, around $225,000 by the end of three years if you include interest that’s accumulating) — well, I figure I should do my best. Obviously, my loans will be nowhere near there, but even still, it’s a daunting figure to consider.

I have mixed feelings about leaving New York. I’m sad, but hopeful. It’s weird how people come in and out of your life. I remember a few months ago (I can’t remember who this conversation was with), but we were talking about the saying “a rolling stone gathers no moss” and whether that had a positive or negative connotation. On one hand, it’s referring to escaping responsibilities, on the other it’s about preventing stagnation. Wikipedia seems to think it could go either way…which I find annoying in a way — I keep wondering if I should make an active effort to stop moving around and changing career paths, and it would be easier if there were a clear answer.

I’ve said before, I hate the process of saying goodbye to things and people, of reformulating life plans, of trying to create social and support systems from scratch. At the same time, I’ve gotten to cross paths with a diverse swath of people and lifestyles, which is important, I think. Anyway, it’s just something that’s been on my mind. Maybe I’m just adverse to change, but I generally feel like I’m happy and positive about life, but still not entirely satisfied. Like, I don’t think I’ve ever felt entirely content.

Well, whatever. In a completely different tangent, I’ve finally gotten back to finishing up this blog which has been under construction for almost six months, haha. I really should just recode everything cause it was a mess the last time I did it — I didn’t take time to read up on the changes going from WordPress 2.x to 3 and I actually migrated the entire blog to a completely new installation and directory which complicated things. But, depending on how busy the next few weeks are, it may or may not ever happen. Oh well.