You know you’re getting older when you get excited about household appliances. The highlight of my week was getting a new washer/dryer set installed and going shopping for a new vacuum at Target — we got the dirt devil.

I’m not sure how much I like growing up. This summer is started to freak me out — I’m supposed to go to New York, but this is the first time I’ve gone somewhere by myself where there wouldn’t be a familiar face to pick me up at the airport. I’m also turning 21 this summer, which completely blows my mind. I can’t believe I’m in my twenties. I feel like I could still be 14 in terms of maturity.

I think I’m also freaking out because there’s a lot of things developmentally as a human being that you stop being able to do after you get older. It makes we wonder what I should have done earlier. For example, you no longer can increase the amount of calcium you can store in your bones. Once you hit a certain age, you’re only able to replenish the calcium reserves. I realize worrying about my calcium levels seems silly, but as someone who has never really had health problems, the idea of having to deal with those in the future makes me uncomfortable.

I think wanting to learn Korean right now is also a result of getting older. The part of your brain used for language learning, they say, can increase in capabilities in your youth. If you never use it, it never reaches its full potential. Once you hit a certain age, it plateaus and your language learning abilities can’t increase — however difficult it is for you to learn new languages at that point will stay that way for the rest of your life.

I’m sure there are multitudes of examples like that. Is it too late for me to do anything about it? I don’t want to grow up. It seems dreary.